Selamat Hari Lahir Mak

Ini gambar tahun lepas punya. :)

Selamat hari lahir mak ku sayang. Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki, dan setiap hela nafas sentiasa diberkati oleh Allah sepanjang masa. Yang penting, semoga emak ceria dan senyum selalu. Juga semoga tidak runsing dan risau pelbagai perkara. Tenangkan hati ya mak. Dan semoga senyum dan gembira selalu. :)

p/s: Entri ini adalah untuk dedikasi kepada mak yang disayangi. You only have one mother that gave birth to you.

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Monsieur Lazhar

 

This is a French language movie. I kind a like the language and the movie is quite good. The story is centered mostly in a school, in Quebec, Canada. Oh yes, now I realized that Quebec in Canada uses French in their daily activities.

It starts with a scene which shows a suicide scene from a teacher, Martine LaChance. She died in her own classroom. The issue is afterward, how the pupils to face their schooling life in their classroom. Surely, there are high concern from pupils' parents as it quite emotional disturbance among them.

Then, came Bachir Lazhar, an immigrant from Algeria. He offered himself to the headmistress to become the substitute teacher for that particular class. Somewhat, the story is focusing on Lazhar, and his few students. Doesn't mean that other does not related but for a logical reason, but few of them like Alice, Simon, Boris, Vic and few others were mentioned  in such constraint time frame for a movie.

My interest in this story is because how an immigrant to blend with his new culture. Yes, fortunately, second language for most Algerian and Moroccan is French. So I didn't think it is weird for Bachir Lazhar which is fluent in French.

But, the true essence of this movie is the relationship between a teacher and students. In which the teacher is a substitute from previous teacher and surely there are many differences between them. Plus, it also potrayed how Bachir the substitute teacher help the students to come through difficult times, at the same time, he is also facing sadness in his life.

Enough said, a simple movie which doesn't give specific ending. Given us the opportunity to think what's next. Surely an art movie and does stimulate mind and emotion to the viewers. Please enjoy the movie. It is a nice movie. :) 

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Obvious, Only Now

I would be lying if I say that being bongsu [last child] is not fun. Generally, bongsu will be pampered all the time, not all, but most of it. Alhamdulillah, my life is great even being bongsu, all the time. I want to thanks and appreciate everyone especially my mother and all my siblings especially my sister. Thanx a lot. :>

But, as time pass by, I grow up. And I still feel that I being treated as a child. Worse, I think what I said are not considered as useful. It`s more like childish thought only. My words will not be a fact, and it just like whisper in the wind. It will not be accepted and it turn otherwise after being supported by others.

I`m tired being treated like a child. I really, really, really, really, really, really, and again, really want to spread my wing.

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Waktu Malaysia

"Ramai juga yang TIDAK TAHU mengenai PERISTIWA BERSEJARAH DUNIA yang dicipta oleh TUN DR MAHATHIR sendiri . Iaitu "mencuri" masa manusia dengan mempercepatkan waktu 30 minit di Semenanjung Malaysia untuk disamakan dengan Sabah dan Sarawak pada 11.30pm , 31 Disember 1981 . 

Peristiwa ini disaksikan jutaan manusia di televisyen apabila jam di Banggunan Sultan Abdul Samad "dipusingkan" setengah jam ! Saya fikir , belum ada orang di dunia ini mampu mengubah waktu melainkan beliau dan ianya mengejutkan dunia !!!

TAHUKAH ANDA ? Kerana tindakan Tun Dr Mahathir itu juga ...

1. Lee Kuan Yew di Singapura pun panik dan arahkan pegawai2nya buat kajian dalam tempoh 24 jam, sama ada mahu ikut Malaysia atau biarkan sahaja. Last-last Singapura kena ikut kita. Banyak kerugian Singapura kalu dia tak ikut.

2. Alasan yang Tun bagi ketika buat keputusan untuk mempercepatkan masa di Semenanjung adalah untuk beri lebih banyak masa siang untuk orang di Semanjung. Ini bermakna masa siang orang di Semanjung sekarang lebih panjang berbanding di Malaysia Timur. Oleh itu bolehlah mereka mempunyai banyak berriadah dengan masa siang yang panjang itu. Berriadah pun boleh bantu orang di Semanjung jadi panjang umur.

3. Sebelum itu, kita lewat 30 minit dari Jepun. Tapi bila Tun cepatkan waktu, kita sama waktu dengan jepun sekarang. 

4. Dulu Indonesia dan Thailand hanya 30 minit lewat dari kita, tapi sekarang mereka lewat 1 jam lah pulak. Dua negara ini sudah tinggalkan kita agak jauh sebelum itu. Bila Tun memerintah Malaysia dan cepatkan waktu, kita dapat potong mereka dan di zaman Tun M, Indonesia dan Thailand perlahan2 ketinggalan dari kita. HEBAT KAN IDEA TUN M ?"

Ayat-ayat ini telah dipetik dari fanpage "Saya Sayang Tun Dr Mahathir Mohammad".

Terima kasih di atas statement di atas yang menyebabkan saya mengkaji dan membaca sedikit sebanyak mengenai peristiwa ini. Saya sedia maklum mengenai ini sejak dari sekolah rendah jika tidak silap. Sejak arwah ayah masih ada lagi.

Mengenai statement "belum ada orang di dunia ini mampu mengubah waktu melainkan beliau dan ianya mengejutkan dunia" adalah kurang tepat. Ini kerana di negara yang mempunyai empat musim seringkali mengubah jam mereka sama ada 1 jam cepat atau 1 jam lambat apabila 'Daylight Saving Time' diimplementasikan. Jika tak percaya, sila tanya kepada Miss Nur yang pernah study di UK dan New Zealand. ;p

Namun, Daylight Saving Time itu berbeza kerana dua kali pertukaran dilaksanakan dalam masa setahun. Jadi tiada sebarang perubahan masa ketara kerana 1 jam diawalkan dan 1 jam dilewatkan dalam masa setahun dan diulang-ulang pada tahun seterusnya membuatkan ianya seimbang sedangkan tindakan Tun Dr Mahathir telah secara tetap mempercepatkan waktu Semenanjung Malaysia.

Saya lahir setelah jam semenanjung dicepatkan. Jadi saya tiada rasa 'apa yang tak kenanya?'. Betul, tanyalah kami yang lahir setelah tahun 1981 ataupun tanyalah mereka yang lahir tahun dalam lingkungan 1970-an kerana ketika perubahan jam ini mereka masih kanak-kanak ataupun remaja. Pada kami, normallah matahari terbit dalam lingkungan pukul 7 pagi dan terbenam juga dalam lingkungan 7 - 7.30 malam. Ya, Malaysia terletak berhampiran garisan khatulistiwa jadi 12 jam cahaya dan 12 jam gelap adalah normal.

Pernah isu ini dibincangkan bersama abang jika tidak silap dan kebetulan ayah ada diruang tamu. Saya ketika itu masih tidak sedar bahawa sebenarnya waktu di semenanjung ini adalah pelik! Ya, pelik. Sekurang-kurangnya ianya pelik bagi orang dari luar. Nanti saya ceritakan. Sedang kami berbicara isu jam dan waktu, saya tidak ingat apakah isu itu, tetapi keluar dari mulut ayah yang menyatakan "ini jam Mahathir" membawa maksud jam yang digunapakai sekarang ini adalah 'Jam Mahathir'.

Bagaimana isu ini timbul dalam benak permikiran saya? Kisahnya bermula apabila ketika kecil, sewaktu mula belajar berpuasa, seringkali disiarkan di televisyen menayangkan waktu berbuka puasa. Ketika itu saya rasa tidak adil, kenapa kawasan di Lahad Datu, Sabah berbuka puasa sekitar jam 6 petang, sedangkan di Kuala Lumpur perlu berbuka dalam waktu 7.20 petang? Sedang kami berlapar ketika pukul 6 petang dan membayangkan makanan untuk berbuka nanti, rakan sebaya kami di Lahad Datu telah pun enak menjamah juadah berbuka puasa mereka. Ini tidak adil!

Namun, apabila malam menjelma setelah selesai menunaikan solat tarawih, sering juga tidur lewat malam. Jadi sekitar sebelum jam 12.00 tengah malam, disiarkan pula di kaca televisyen waktu imsak untuk seluruh Malaysia. Ketika itulah saya sedar, sedang kami menjamu untuk sahur ketika jam 5.00 pagi, sahabat kita di Lahad Datu telahpun mula menahan lapar dan dahaga sejam yang lepas, pukul 4.00 pagi. Jadi, sebenarnya adillah waktu yang Allah S.W.T. berikan dalam konteks negara Malaysia.

Disini, saya sedar walaupun jam tangan saya dan jam tangan sahabat di Lahad Datu berdetik pada jam, minit dan saat yang sama, tapi kecondongan matahari dan bulan tidak sama. Ketika itu, saya hanya beranggapan bahawa penyeragaman waktu antara Semenanjung Malaysia dan juga Sabah dan Sarawak adalah untuk memudahkan urusan rasmi antara kedua-belah pihak yang dipisahkan oleh Laut China Selatan ini.

Rakan-rakan semenanjung akan terasa pening dengan waktu solat jika baru berhijrah ke Sarawak, apatah lagi Sabah yang lebih ke arah timur dari segi geografinya. Sedang anda rasa masih banyak lagi waktu untuk menunaikan Asar ketika melihat jam baru pukul 5.45 petang, tapi anda perlu tahu Maghrib pula akan tiba waktunya sekitar jam 6.00 petang. Oh! Pening-pening.

Pada hemat saya, jika dibandingkan dengan dengan negara-negara lain yang mempunyai waktu dan jam yang normal, di negara kita bolehlah diwakilkan kepada negeri Sabah. Jika anda tinggal disana, itulah waktu sebenarnya yang normal. Subuh di Sabah lebih kurang pukul 4.00 pagi begitu juga di Madinah ketika saya membuat umrah dahulu. Namun memandangkan Madinah terletak agak jauh dari garisan khatulistiwa, jadi perbezaan waktu solat boleh jadi agak ketara di dalam satu tahun.

Ya, itulah sahabat-sahabat, kita di semenanjung sedang mengalami kehidupan dengan urutan jam yang pelik sebenarnya. Cuba bayangkan. Maghrib masuk dalam pukul 7.00 petang. Jadi dari 7.00 petang ke 12.00 tengah malam adalah 5 jam. Okay, sebaik melintasi jam 12.00 tengah malam, kita akan memulakan tarikh baru, iaitu hari seterusnya. Betulkan? Jadi, untuk waktu syuruk adalah dalam pukul 7.00 pagi. Ya, betul. Logiklah pukul 7.00 pagi terbit matahari dan juga pukul 7.00 malam juga terbenam matahari. Dua angka yang sama iaitu tujuh (7).

Tapi kawan-kawan, dalam satu hari kita ada 24 jam. 24 jam dibahagi dengan dua adalah 12. Ingat, 12 dan bukannya 10. Jadi untuk angka tujuh bertemu angka tujuh yang lagi satu adalah pelik sebenarnya. Tadi saya sudah kira bukan, dari pukul 7 petang ke 12 tengah malam adalah 5 jam. Cuba kira pula dari pukul 12 tengah malam sehingga terbit matahari, ada berapa jam? Cuba kira dengan jari. 12 tengah malam boleh dikatakan 0000 hours dan 7 pagi pula adalah 0700 hours. Jadi jawapannya adalah 7 jam. Ya, betul!

Boleh dilihat disini bahawa agak aneh dengan wujudnya 7 jam bergelap sebelum siang dan 5 jam bergelap selepas siang adalah tidak seimbang bukan? Maafkan saya jika anda membaca ini dari negara yang mempunyai empat musim. Kerana Malaysia yang hampir dengan garisan khatulistiwa sepatutnya boleh mengimbangkan waktu secantik mungkin untuk nampak seimbang. Ya, disitulah antara kepelikan yang terlihat oleh saya dan mungkin disebabkan itulah jam ini nampak istimewa/lain dan dipanggil 'Jam Mahathir' oleh ayah saya.

Namun, anda mesti berkata 'Who cares?". Hahaha. Ya, betullah tu. Tiada apa pun jika kita sudah pun terbiasa dengan waktu ini. Dan kelebihan dicepatkan jam ini tidak dapat lagi saya pastikan dengan ketara namun bolehlah merujuk quote yang saya paste di atas ye.

By the way, fakta no.3 itu saya ingin betulkan. Malaysia masih tidak sama waktu dengan Tokyo (Jepun) sebenarnya namun Malaysia sama waktu dengan Hong Kong, China dan juga Perth, Australia.



"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Silent Potential

He start playing football at lowly club Everton and as his talent emerged, Wayne Rooney was then snapped by Manchester United.

Same goes to Antonio Valencia, before become prominent player for Manchester United, he just a winger at lowly club, Wigan Athletic.

But for Edwin Van Der Sar, it is true that he has played for Juventus and Ajax first, two big club in Europe. But then he just jump into a mediocore club at Fulham based in London. Until later on, he joined Manchester United and becoming one of the greatest goal keeper.

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

4 Years Ago

A piece of memory for me with my late Sister.

Can you remember what were you doing on this exact date, 20th March on prevous years? If you asked me, I will answer "No, not at all". But, I do remember what happen on this date but only on the year of 2008, four years ago.

It was Thursday, and that day was national holiday. So for common student will take the opportunity to rest or doing some chores or even revise their studies. But some of my friends cleaning up our house and surroundings. While I'm about to take my bath in the morning, my phone ringing at the hall. Then, my friend shouted to me to notify me that someone is calling me.

It was my sister, just right above me in birth order. She told me something that shock me entirely. My another sister already passed away this morning. Stun and disbelief but I have to accept the news. The plan was my sister will take me at my house and I have to pack and get ready. Then I continue my bath and pack up necessary things.

In sadness, I waited outside as I also told my friend that I have to go back. My friend immediately raise my concern about PPP that will be held on that weekend, a modul which is compulsory for every student. Recently since the attendance and support from student decrease, the campus implement very strict rules which the absent from the modul can be charged in the campus court. Even with very reasonable reason, the student can be forced to take the same modul in the next semester. In my case, as a final semester student, there was a possibility that I have to extend my studies just to attend that modul.

I don't care, today is just Thursday, and the modul will be held on Saturday and Sunday. If the campus administration cannot consider my case, I don't care. I have to go back for sure.

Still I waited outside our house but my sister still did not arrive. I believe my sister will be even sadder as her sole female siblings already passed away. She is now the only sister in our family. I believe, she can't drive even our house just less than 1 KM apart. I asked my friend to send me to my sister's house. He agreed, his name is Sheikh Mazli. I remember him. Thank you very much bro.

As I arrived at my sister's house, I can see my prediction was right. My sister is still in tears and it was a correct decision for me to come to her house. After that, we got to travel more than 3 hours to reach Meru in Klang. Along the journey, we sit silent and I was driving. Still my sister beside me, fall in tears. I got to control my emotion, I have to drive to reach to the destination.

As we reach Kuala Lumpur, my brother called us and asked us our position. And we are 1 hour away from destination. My brother called because our sister body preparation was almost complete. If we late, we are not be able to watch her face for the last time. So I increase my speed, the time is running out.

And when we got even closer to Meru, my brother already called us several time as probably to delay the preparation as to give us some time. Finally we reach at our elder sister house. So many cars parked outside our sister house. But nevertheless, we reach our destination. As we enter the house, we were given easy way to enter. At least, me and my sister able to see, her face for the last time.

My sister's body already completed in her preparation just only face were left open and anytime will be closed with that white cloth, kain kapan. My sister then kissed the face of my elder sister. Then it was my turn, I kissed her forehead and cheek as our farewell from this world. 10 months before that day, her son, my BFF Shafik passed away and that day it was her turn. After that, her face were closed and we pray for her in Solat Jenazah.

Then all of us proceed to the grave. Her grave was almost near to her son, Shafik's grave. Everything done and her burial does not bring any problem. Alhamdulillah.

She was our sister for me she was quite happening. She was the one who frequently bring laughter to our house. She, again who bring the liveness to our family and on that day, she was gone. And from that day, our life is never same again.

At that time, we just finished our country general election in 2008. Less than fortnight I remember. I already mentioned that day was a national holiday right. It was Maulidur Rasul 12th Rabiul Awal 1429 Hijri. Once a while, every Maulidur Rasul celebration each year after that, my mother will remember this event. She will mentioned that on this day, our sister passed away.

If you willing, please give Al-Fatihah to my beloved sister Asiah. InsyaAllah.

Al-Fatihah.



Later, my another sister give me permission to drive her car to go back to my campus. She stay in Meru as she has some errands need to be done in Shah Alam. On my way back, that was the time I fall in tears all the way in the journey. That was the time I release all my sadness in my sister's car. Even until I reach at my house.

Meru, once was the best place for me to passing by. I would not give up any opportunity to go there. But, everything has change. Not anymore.

That's all for now.



"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

8 Years Ago

8 Years ago, exactly on March 13th 2004 at 3.40 p.m. my father breathe his last breath.

Al-Fatihah.

My father.
July 28th 1932 - March 13th 2004

We miss you father and actually I need you.

My Memory:


I still remember at that time, I was a volunteer as a part of zonal schools sport organizer as our school being as the host for our zone 4 region. It started on Friday, 12th March 2004 and the annual sport event were held very lively. I got the opportunity to met my friends from my previous school at Kuala Kubu Bharu. It was a sweet memory actually. They arrived in the evening and we talk so much as we already over 1 year apart.


Then, during the opening ceremony on Friday night, I was not involved and I have a chit chat with my KKB friend. At the most unlikely circumstance, my normal friend (which means we are not too close), Saiful Idlan, but we know each other, sit next to me and we have some conversation. After we exchange few sentences between us, and again, at the most unlikely event, he asked me "How is your father?". Awkward and weird at first, but I just replied "Alhamdulillah, he is healthy as an old man, you know". But actually I don't have any idea what is actually happening on that night to my father. It is weird because how come suddenly a 1 year apart normal friend could ask that question. Even my closer friends didn't asked me the same question.


Based on my sister's story about what happening on that same night, it was so sad actually. I don't know how to describe it because I was not experiencing that situation. On the next day, 13th March 2004, my task was to handle a sport event which is table tennis. But I don't really have a passion on this sport. So immediately after I set up all the equipment then I rushed to the field to watch tug of war (tarik tali). There my former school is competing. I support them with whole my heart and we laugh together as former friends.


Well, the happening was short lived. My current school (SAMBEST) friend at that time, Abu Ubaidah, was looking for me everywhere. It was difficult as I was not at my actual station. I suppose to wait for the table tennis sport to finish. But I don't think they require my service during the competition so I took the opportunity to watch tug of war. After all, Abu found me. He later asked me to go the school office as my brother called me. While I'm still in happy mood, I smiled and hilariously asked "Why, is there any serious thing happened? Your face looks like someone is dead". And then, Abu immediately stun and replied "Yes Adli, it is serious. Go to the office, and fast". Smile on my face disappeared immediately. My heart beats very fast as I never experienced it before.


So I rushed to the office and I asked the teacher, unfortunately I cannot remember who was the teacher. I believe she was my Add Math teacher. I asked her, why? Then she looks reluctant to say anything and just asked me to go and call my home phone immediately. So then I rushed to the public phone, next to the school shop. But unfortunately, I don't have any change. I bought a soda can to get some change and I give the soda can to my friend as I don't want it at all. 


Then I called my home telephone, I believe that my mother who answered my phone call. She asked me to go back home, my father fell sick. I was stunned. Then I rushed to my dorm and get some bath to clean myself. I told my friend that I have to withdraw from being a volunteer right now. Then I took a normal mode of transportation to head back home.


During the journey back, I keep faith that after all, my father will be okay. So it lessen my burden in my heart. The journey took 2 hours time and I still can remember there are so many people at Datuk Keramat Hall, next to Jelatek LRT Station. It is because that day was the nomination day for General Election 2004. When I reached at my house, it looks gloomy. My mom were very sad. She told me that my father already in hospital and she asked me to go. I was quite blur at that time. How will I go to the hospital? No one is here. Is anyone going to fetch me? That are the questions playing in my mind. So I took sometime and say hi to my cat. And I just watch Faiz, a 6 year old kid at that time, playing in front of our house. Suddenly I heard from my back, "Adli, why you are not going already?" my mom asked me. Then I blurred, I asked my mom how can I go the hospital? Is there anyone will come back in the afternoon and fetch me? My mom asked me "Go to the hospital fast as you don't know how long your father will survive". Again, I was stunned. This is serious.


So, never looking back, I rushed to the main street and took a cab. I want to go there fast, I said to the driver. So we took a new highway, AKLEH. As you know, the hospital is too big and I don't know where is my father being treated. So I choose to stop at the emergency unit. I stand there and look around. I don't know where to go plus we don't have any cell phones at that time. Maybe I got to call my sister or my brother via public phone to locate my father. While I'm just about to take my 1st step, I saw my cousin (more like aunt in term of age difference because I am the youngest grandchildren in my family from my father root). She asked me "Do you want to go to the toilet?". Again, I was blur. "No, I just arrived" I replied. She signal me to follow her fast. 


So there, the ICU. The most feared word in my life is in front of me right now. I enter it and I saw my cousins (my father nieces and nephews) waiting outside of the ICU. Then my steps continue as my cousin brought me to the partitioned space. As I enter inside the curtain, I saw my father, lying on the bed. I was like, being strike by lightning. I stand rigid at where first I saw my father. Then my sister hugged me and my tears fall.


Everyone recite ~Yaasin~ and I follow their Yaasin's recitation in very painful tone. As I took my father hand to apologize for all my sins and mistakes to him, I saw a small tears fall from my father left eye. I still can picture it in my mind right now. After I cool down a bit, I look around and the doctor seems try to give best treatment to my father. The vision gives me some hope that my father can be cured. 


I go out for a while to buy some bread, accompanied with my late BFF, Shafik. Then my aunt saw me at the shop and said that my father is being transferred to upper ward. First thing come into my mind "Woa, is it a good news. My father can be cure. I think this is normal shock only". So I follow my aunt to the upper floor. There, my father were being set up by the doctor and nurses on the bed. Unfortunately, there was a crazy patient lying next to my father bed. Never mind him.


We didn't disturb the doctor and nurses setting up our father with all the medical machines. So I took the opportunity to sit next to my brother (Alang), and I asked him "Father can be healed, right?". Without looking at me, Alang said "No, no hope". "What?" I was shocked in my mind. At that time, I have to accept the fact. The time is coming. My father was in dying moment. I cannot imagine how was that moment. The doctor was about to switch off the machine. Then Alang recite Syahadah at my father ears. Then Alang falls in tears heavily. Followed by the rest of us. But, I don't know. Not for me. When Alang said to me earlier that father can't be healed, I cried already. At that time, the moment the doctor switch off the machine, I accept it already, my father already passed away.


3.40 p.m. that time. Then my father body were transferred to the morgue. We wait for the paperwork being done by the doctor and officials. At 6.00 p.m., we already going back home. And we have to walk a bit to our parking lot. Then, rain is falling when we were walking. My brother, Andak said, "Look, it's raining". I asked "Why is that?". Then Andak replied "When good and kind people dies, rain will fall. The world also crying with the death of our father". Then I understand.


Al-Fatihah.





"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Just My 1 Cent

Actually, it’s hard for me to see my positive sides of me. Probably because of humbleness. Or maybe, I am too arrogant so actually I could see my kindness but unfortunately I can’t see my own badness.  Reflection, yes a.k.a. muhasabah in malay. We need to evaluate how we perform in our own life and also how are our performance to other people surround us.

Truly, I see my badness to other and onto myself. These thing must be changed and improved that is the importance of reflection. But somehow, we can never ever change other person’s receptions and impressions. Just our part to do our best and hope for everything to go just fine and smooth. But even road and highway got problems. There are potholes and bumps everywhere and impossible to get perfect road.

Most of the time, we evade all those potholes and bumps in front of us. But sometime, we hit ‘em. Nevertheless, the road must be travelled as the destination is still far away from reach. Thus keep thrust forward until we reach our own desination.

Some old folks says “Forget the bad from other but, always remember the deeds they did to us”. That’s what I want to hold firmly in my grasp insyaAllah. Don’t get angry or mad because “Fa Sabrun Jamil” which means ‘patient is beauty’.

That’s all. Just my 1 cent because I don’t deserve 2 cents. 

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Angry

Angry Birds (Source)

I seldom get angry. I always try to avoid from being angry in my life. Even when I was in college, I have to act as an angry person in an acting scene but I failed. Then my character were change as I failed to act as angry as possible.

As time passing by, I still don't want to be angry. Until during the industrial training period where I suddenly change. With the tension and pressure being on site plus inexperienced of life in handling matters, I suddenly got angry and I burst it out to the Kongsi Kong. Well, not so immediate but it took about 1 month to have the ability. It is not ability I presume but more like the need to be angry occasionally.

Later on, there are not so many event in my life need me to be angry. But today, grrrrrrr, I am really angry. I am so mad. Fortunately, it took me 5 minutes to cool down. I pray and selawat many times. Astaghfirullahal'azim and Allahummasolli 'ala Muhammad, Wa 'ali Muhammad.

Just don't want to talk of what happened.

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Sheet Of Note

I will not lose sight of it,
Even with slightest sight,
I will definitely aware of it,
Placed on cupboard at height.

Since I always used to it,
So I don't really care,
But I always look upon it,
Just to ensure it's still there.

Somehow something must happened,
It happened just to keep us sane,
As I realize that it was so sudden,
As well as my blood rushed in my vein.

So shock, in disbelief and uncertainty,
Series of events come to my mind,
Just to justify and to find clarity,
Hoping that everything eventually be fine.

It was just a sheet of a bank note,
But it has lost and I lost its trace,
Yes it was my fault not keep it in vault,
Still I don't want to blame any face.

That bank note was not mine,
I have lost it and it was not fine,
I don't want to think this is a crime,
But for sure, eventually the fault is mine.

"Why I don't keep it properly?"
It is now only a deep regret,
Now this thing become so ugly,
But I cannot be too upset.

"Let bygones be bygones" one said,
Just to aware, and of course don't forget,
The money lost, one can be paid,
But the memory is, will be hard to fade.

Actually there is no biggies here,
Just to try some story telling here,
The story will not be too clear,
But it is worth a try here.


Thank you all if you reading this. :-)

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Learn Of Life

Four Cars LRT - Kelana Jaya Line (Source)

Sometime we were taught from our own life. Or maybe it actually have been taught earlier just we don't remember. So it will act as remembrance for those who has forgotten.

Today, Allah has taught me to remember back during my earlier life. Which I don't have any own transport. I revert back for a meanwhile in using public transport. So it quite enjoying, I got to walk about 1 km more less to the LRT station and have to plan well. Also I have to be at the destination earlier than estimated time.

I got the opportunity that I seldom enjoy it during adulthood. I'm not driving so I be able to watch my surrounding. I observe people action and reaction. At early of the morning, go for work. I realize that event though we already arrived at the last station, many people doesn't get out because they actually want to go the other way but since it is too crowded so they opted to travel on different direction. So they can get a seat as the train will turn back and head for Kuala Lumpur.

Thanks to my friend Basyir who fetch me from Gombak station to go to the office. Thanks a lot bro. So, back to basics. Many things learned or remembered, like, early preparation, how to be thankful to have a transport, how to enjoy life and surrounding and the kindness of friend to fetch me. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah and thank you my friend.


"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Engineer Dream

I think this is wrong appearance of engineer. LOL. Who want to dress as smart as this to go to the site? (Source)

First of all, have you ever heard about American Dream? Well, maybe you have heard about it. Well, I don't want to stress any particular thing here. This term is common among immigrants in the U.S. There, they consider it as land of opportunities. Where the poor can aim high, to change their own fate and fortune. I heard this over and over again in GTA IV, where the protagonist, Niko Bellic come to the U.S. and of course, in pursuit of American Dream. But not to avail, apparently.

Well, in this case for my entry title, me as a child were given the high class view of many professional professions. The favourite, is doctor. Medical doctor to be precise. Followed by several others and usually engineer were included in the list. Why does these professions were popular among children? Well, of course, the conception of eliteness and these would bring so much income. Much income? Am I serious? LOL with the capital of all those letters.


In short, I don't see any of the Engineer dream to be true as yet. :-) Quite funny actually. I cannot judge at the meantime because it's still early. But maybe if you are in my shoes just like my colleague, we thought that it is better being a teacher, or policemen or being part of armed forces. Just maybe.

I should be thankfull, because in the previous company i worked with, it even worse. I should be a Pak Guard or Jaga instead of engineer. Wow, so professional. Alhamdulillah, at least I have a job, right? Syukur Alhamdulillah.

I think that's all for tonight. Bye.

p/s: this is my 1st entry posted from my sister's Samsung Galaxy Tab. :-)


"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Extra

Jesse Heiman (Source)

Usually, I have a different perspective about life. Every person, to them, to their own perspective, is the central point of the world. Of course, how would you see yourself from third person point of view right. Even without a mirror or any reflective surface, you cannot see yourself. Hence, you need to look at mirror to see your own face. Plus, you need someone else who close to you (or not) to picture your own self on other perspectives. But different person will brought different point of views and different of opinions. Through your own eyes, you are the protagonist and the hero/heroin of your own movie (read: life).

I'm sorry to say, I'm lack of self confidence. It's true. I believe, I don't have such strong confidence probably because I'm the last child in my family. Most of my decision and thought of mind, most of it, were mold by my elder siblings, my father and my mother, and my surrounding. And it's true, first child and last child characteristics is way too many differences. Obviously, first and elder childs were independent and can be trusted on their own. they have faced many possibilities, problems and uncertainties earlier than the rest. While, to the later child, they might learn from their older siblings and also require the guidance from them so they can have better life without doing the same mistakes done by their elders. Learn from history. So the context of history here is mistakes and glories. Hahahaha.

Yes, what about this entry title, 'Extra'? Hurm, I believe you guys must have watched movies or at least dramas in television right? I believe you already understand the term 'Extra' in movie/drama. Extra is not supporting actor, who have important role in the story. They just appear and perhaps does some interactions with the main actors and supporting actors and after that, they disappear. Like, a waiter! They asked the hero what he going to order and the hero asked his girlfriend what she going to have. Then the hero state their order and the waiter, just go away. The waiter later come again bringing along the meals and drinks that the hero ordered at the first place. It is simple. Everybody who watched that scene, no one, will ever care about the waiter. Who the hell is the waiter. He is not affecting the story. Why we should bother about him, right?

Yes, the waiter is me. I always think about it. When I think and interact with the whole world, I'm just extra in their life. For every person, they themselves are hero in their own movie (life) as I said earlier. Unfortunately for me, I always think that I am an Extra in my own movie. Hahaha. I don't know what story I'm going to make. Nothing.

We might transfer the whole movie about the waiter. Hence, there are new movie centralized on the waiter and the whole movie will change everything, the props and also the storyline will be different. New title movie will be released for sure. Might be action movie, or any fantasy movie can prevail. But everything is speculative.

So from now on, InsyaAllah, I will try to uncover about anything that just an Extra to a certain event, popular figure, fact, engineering method/formula/idea and many other thing that might come through my mind, just want to share with you my blog readers. Yes, it will surrounding the popular things/event that no one would ever bother with it. And probably you will just say "Why should I care about this?". Hahaha. Just my thought.

Until then, so long for now. Salam.


Wait, here I just want to share with you the Hollywood Greatest Extra, Jesse Heiman. Like 'he is everywhere'. Hahaha.



"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Al-Insyirah

Surah Al-Insyirah. (Source)

Not entirely energetic or motivated. Let's recite this surah and hopefully all of us can get the benefit from above. InshaAllah.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم: Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang.

1. أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan untukmu dadamu?,
2. وَوَضَعْنَا عَنْكَ وِزْرَكَ Dan Kami telah menghilangkan dari padamu bebanmu,
3. الَّذِي أَنْقَضَ ظَهْرَكَ yang memberatkan punggungmu?
4. وَرَفَعْنَا لَكَ ذِكْرَكَ Dan Kami tinggikan bagimu sebutan (nama)mu.
5. فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا Kerana sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan,
6. إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.
7. فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانْصَبْ Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain,
8. وَإِلَى رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.

Just watch the explanation of this surah from Imam Suhaib Webb on TV Al-Hijrah last night. The really true understanding on what we are reading from the Quran is veeeeeeeerryyyyyyyyyyyyy important. InshaAllah. Let's understand what does Allah says in the Quran. Amin.

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Wordless Wednesday

I took this picture from a movie. Can u guess what movie it was and what is this picture about? :)




"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Imam

What is great being an Imam? Okay, what is Imam actually? Well, there are several concepts regarding Imam. And in this entry I’m about to tell you about an Imam of being the leader for people during prayers. Yes, that kind which we can see, the leader where he leads the prayer and every steps of prayer will be followed by others behind him. In most cases, Imam is a male. If all the jemaah (group members) is women, so the leader can be one from them, also a woman. But once there is a male, so the male must lead the prayers.

My experience, well, honestly I seldom become an Imam during prayers. Just sometimes and most of them when the jemaah is small in number. Might be the group of 2, 3 or 4 person. Not so many of people. And usually I have to become an Imam when the others are reluctant to step forward to become an Imam.

I frequently thinks that someday I will be ready to become an Imam by myself later on, without realizing it. No, I don’t think so. I always give ways for others to become an Imam. Like in our office, I usually let Basyir led the prayers. And just sometimes when Basyir thinks that he has being Imam so many times so he wanted me to become an Imam. So, it’s ok but it just the group of two persons.

Last Wednesday, on my way back from a meeting at Kuantan, I stop at Gambang R&R for Maghrib and Isya’ prayers. After finish up my ablution process, there is still a jemaah from a prayer session, so I just waited for them to finish their prayers since I’m no longer can join them and become masbuq. After the group finishes their prayers, then I waited for any person to start the new jemaah. I just lean on the wall to wait for other person. Few of us watch each other faces and giving a signal to let any other else to lead the prayer.

And suddenly come someone and started the calling of prayer. And suddenly other people stepping a step behind. It seems no one would volunteer to become an Imam. Well, no one wanted to take the responsibility and eventually I volunteering myself to lead the prayers. It actually common. Even though I’m quite nervous at first, but I believe someday I will lead prayers more frequent. I cannot forever hide and let other to lead. I am a man, I will become a leader one day and cannot anymore rely on other else at that time.

The situation is normal, and I believe no one would give a d**n about this. But, it is some kind of special moment for me. So, it just a natural situation until I give my salam to signal the finish of the prayer. After finishing my du’a and I turn my head to the back and there are many people behind me, they were following my prayers gesture before. Alhamdulillah, it’s good. Our prayers finish normally. We shakes hand even we don’t know each other, and we smiled.

Well, that’s just my experience. People must weird of reading my experience like this. It’s okay, I know. It just special for me because I didn’t lead prayers in many occasion. Perhaps it’s already time for me to enhance my spiritual side which long lost taken. Must return to my former self back then. InsyaAllah, Allah will help me and I must strive for it. Amin Ya Rabb.

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

FA Cup Manchester City Vs Manchester United

Aku bermimpi Manchester United dikalahkan dengan jaringan 5 berbalas 3 menentang Manchester City. Namun hakikatnya Manchester United menewaskan Manchester City dengan jaringan 3 - 2. Bravo. Berikut adalah berita selanjutnya;

This victory will matter to Manchester United regardless of the fact that the FA Cup is the lesser priority. Defeating the holders, Manchester City, after that 6-1 trouncing by them in the league at Old Trafford is to be relished. Sir Alex Ferguson will now expect his men to believe they can compete on equal terms with these opponents in the Premier League.

United were a match for a City side cut to 10 men but it took a while for them to accept that Vincent Kompany was gone. The referee, Chris Foy, had sent him off in the 12th minute after a two-footed lunge although his opponent Nani was not endangered. Officials at large were insistent that Foy's interpretation was consistent with current guidelines.

City will have taken something from a seemingly unequal struggle. Considering they had been 3-0 down to a merciless United – Wayne Rooney opening the scoring two minutes before the dismissal with a superb header from Antonio Valencia's cross – they displayed spirit and, with Roberto Mancini's readjustments, tactical wisdom. In Kompany's absence a 3-5-1 system adopted after half-time had more flexibility than anticipated.

United were troubled by the formation and were also in two minds as to whether they should strive to prey on outnumbered opponents or simply work their way quietly towards full time.

It is to City's credit that they rallied to score twice but their inability to show resilience at the onset came as a surprise. United would have had a better excuse for frailty and anxiety here after the 3-0 collapse at Newcastle United. No one doubts that Kompany was missed or that it is a blow to the club, who will appeal the sending-off. It is most likely they will have to do without their captain for four games since he has already been banned this season, following a red card at Wolves in October.

City seem to rely on Kompany greatly and it is no help either that Kolo Touré has departed with his brother Yaya for the Africa Cup of Nations. United themselves had looked depleted. They are so lacking in numbers that Paul Scholes, now a coach at Old Trafford, was named among the substitutes and will be available for the rest of the season. The 37-year-old was brought on here.

He may have participated in many a win over City and done much to bring about those results but this day should linger in his thoughts since it can have been only wildly unexpected. When Scholes decided his time as a player was at an end last season not many disagreed vehemently. Injuries may have been a handicap to Ferguson but, despite this victory, United's squad still have to be redeveloped.

There should be few grievances to fill the aftermath with quarrels. United sought a second penalty when claiming that Aleksandar Kolarov had felled Valencia but a handball appeal after a shot by the City left-back seemed to come off the arm of Phil Jones was also ignored.

City, much as they will rage against the red card for Kompany, should be embarrassed by their first-half disintegration. United were merciless for a while. Patrice Evra's cross took a deflection but Danny Welbeck was acrobatic enough to volley past Costel Pantilimon. Five minutes from half-time the Romania goalkeeper saved a Rooney penalty awarded for Kolarov's foul on Welbeck but the striker headed home the rebound.

City still took great credit for their second-half endeavours, with Kolarov lifting a free-kick over the wall and past Anders Lindegaard. The struggle grew more intense when Sergio Agüero met James Milner's low ball to cut the lead further after the goalkeeper had pushed the forward's first shot back to him.

The losers take some pride from the day. In stoppage time they were pressing for an equaliser and at the full-time whistle the delight of the visiting United supporters was topped up with relief that their team had stopped short of bungling what looked a certain victory.

There is no cause to upbraid City. Having floundered in the Champions League, they had the Premier League as the sole trophy of compulsive interest to them. No one supposes they are on the brink of capitulation but they look a different side. City bore no relation to the line-up who, until recently, could not help but score goals in abundance.

Fluctuations are to be anticipated but this experience is new to the contemporary City. They have to reckon with factors such as the dip in form of David Silva. It seemed certain he would be elected the 2012 footballer of the year. He is too good not to be prominent again before long.

Mancini, for the moment, is inconvenienced if not exactly embattled. While his side struck twice there is no longer a sense that there will be a spate of goals to sweep away the opposition. That confident mood never lasts long enough for any club's liking. This may have been an FA Cuptie but United will have left the Etihad Stadium feeling much more optimistic about the league than they had at St James' Park four days earlier.

Sumber: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/jan/08/manchester-city-manchester-united-fa-cup

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

YB Dr Hasan Ali Dipecat

KUALA LUMPUR, Jan 8 — The PAS central working committee has sacked Datuk Hasan Ali as a party member with effect from today, party organ Harakahdaily reports.

President Datuk Seri Abdul Hadi Awang said in a statement today that after weighing up all views from its central working committee in today’s monthly meeting, it decided to revoke the Selangor executive councillor’s membership.

“The decision was made based on Datuk Hasan Ali’s actions which have wronged and damaged the party’s interest as provided for in the PAS constitution,” the Marang MP said.

Last month, Hasan (picture) criticised PAS in Umno-controlled media such as Utusan Malaysia, Berita Harian and TV3 for purportedly abandoning its Islamist credentials for the sake of political gain.

Hasan accused PAS, which removed him as Selangor chief after its general assembly in June 2010, of straying from its original struggle for an Islamic state by pushing for a welfare state.

The Gombak Setia assemblyman again earned the ire of his colleagues this week when he said tomorrow’s rally in support of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim as the opposition leader learns the verdict of his two-year-long sodomy trial was a waste of time.

Abdul Hadi had already backed the rally and other party leaders said Hasan had insulted the party president by going against his decision.

It is not known whether the Pakatan Rakyat (PR) Selangor government will drop him from the state executive council where he is in charge of religious affairs.

PAS women’s wing chief Siti Zailah Mohd Yusoff told The Malaysian Insider that the decision was reached unanimously.

“The decision was made after careful study, discussion and advice given to Hasan but he still ignored orders and still went against the party’s policies,” she said.

Hasan can still appeal to the party’s Syura Council, its powerful decision-making body made up of religious scholars.

PAS spiritual leader Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat also attended today’s monthly meeting.

Sumber: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/pas-sacks-hasan-ali/

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –

Ohisashiburi

Ohisashiburi desu nee, Buroggu. (Translation: Long time no see, blog!). Hehe, just a thing to make me trying to smile. Well, blog, you know what. The world has change a lot. It is already 2012. You see, 2012. I have seen 2012 movie on 2009. Okay, tiada format yang proper di sini. Kali ini menulis mengikut suka hati aku.

Aku tengah dengar lagu Akhil Hayy – Farshi Turab masa menulis ni. Sebelum ni aku dengar The Chosen One oleh Maher Zain. Sungguh syahdu lagu kali ini. Alhamdulillah, aku tak tahu lagu syahdu kontemporari. Masih baik gerak hati ini untuk menjenguk lagu-lagu baik ketika mood tak menentu. Tapi kadang-kadang jadi mengong jugak. Boleh pegi bantai lagu Linkin Park kalau tengah-tengah tensen. Tapi masa belajar je la, konon nak release tensen. Tapi hakikatnya sujud itulah detik ketika yang paling sesuai untuk release tensen. Ketika itulah paling dekat, dengan Dia. Biarkan daku sujud selamanya.

Betul blog. Dunia dah berubah. Sekarang aku berasa macam insan tak berguna. Anyone ever will cry for me when I am dead? I don’t know. Is it the world will misses me when I’m gone? I don’t know. I’ve been an a**hole for sometimes now. Dari berada di puncak roda, boleh kata la, masa grad dari diploma dulu. Kemudian struggle dengan gelungan roda berada dibawah dan mencuba untuk memusing ke atas kembali. Nampak macam hampir berjaya, namun hampeh blog. Betul aku cakap kat kau. Sampah aku ni. Na’uzubillah min zalik. I cannot give up on life. Allah has granted this opportunity, to live the life of eternity.

But actually, I have lost my will to live. But I don’t want to commit suicide. Of course, it’s haram. As long as I remember some scene from Three Idiots, remember those faces that you loved the most before you are about to do something stupid. Yes, 3 idiots, a nice movie. Cite pasal kejuruteraan. Nice. Tapi cite sesuai untuk student la. Dan berguna juga untuk pensyarah untuk menaikkan semangat student masing-masing. Aku rasa director cite tu kene buat sequel la, 4 idiots ke, 5 idiots ke, untuk tunjukkan dunia pekerjaan sebagai jurutera pulak. Hahaha.

Blog, dulu-dulu dengan kau la aku menepek nak menulis macam-macam. Memang berminat betul la aku menulis. Tapi sekarang dah sunyi kan? Betul, maafkan aku blog. Ye tak ye, aku dah banyak sangat sebut maaf/sorry lately. Macam cerita Wanted pulak. Brader protagonist tu asyik cakap “I’m sorry”. Kadang-kadang tu dalam slow motion. Tak caya cuba tengok cite tu  kejap. Hahaha.

Macam ni blog, dulu aku student. Dapat bilik sorang je kat rumah sewa tu. Jadi aku memang syok, banyak dapat ilham dan idea untuk merapu-rapu dalam ni. Tak segan silu nak menulis. Tapi dah grad dan masuk ke alam sebenar ni, keje la pulak. Kerja-kerja-kerja. Betullah, kalau non-muslim kerja untuk kekayaan diri. Namun aku kena tahu, kerja adalah ibadah. Walaupun etika kerja aku tak berapa nak proper dan kelam kabut. Haha, silly me. Ukur baju di badan sendiri. Law of attractions, itulah antara prinsip kakak aku, antaranya yang dipegang sekarang ni. Walaupun satu-satu hal dalam kehidupan kita, kita perlu berfikiran positif. Contohnya, kita sentiasa berharap dalam diri kita bila memandu dengan berkata “Janganlah eksiden”. Tapi tak elok jika berkata begitu, sebab ada perkataan negative “eksiden” disitu. Jadi yang elok sebenarnya adalah “Semoga semuanya selamat dan berjalan lancar, Amin”. Janganlah berputus asa, ya betul. Kena biasakan diri dengan perkataan positive. Yes, law of attractions.

Hehe, you know what, my sister must already recognize myself, my character. I always thinking negative. That’s why my mental is now negative. Na’uzubillah. So prevent myself from negative thinking. Payah bebenor nak tukar pemikiran orang sebenarnya. Aku pun tengah cuba menukarkan setting pemikiran aku ni. Namun agak sukar. Aku tak tahulah, mungkin life crisis aku adalah ketika ini. Kecamuk. Haha. Sedangkan sebenarnya duduk rumah saja. Kerja pun dekat. Entahlah, aku pun tak tahu. Pencarian aku dah terpesong landasan. Itu yang kelangkabut sengal alam je tu.

Sebenarnya, quality diri aku telah hilang, meresap dek angin. I am no longer the person that I am proud few years back. 5 years ago to be exact. Tanya mak, adakah dia bangga dengan aku, tak kot. Jadi aku kena berubah. Menaip saja pun tak guna. Itulah aku, kata nak berubah, namun susah nak dipraktikkan. Everyone, saya nak minta maaf jika saya ada melakukan salah dan silap kepada kalian semua. I beg for all of your forgiveness. Sementara masih sempat, tuntutlah apa-apa yang kekurangan dari saya. Jika mampu, saya akan usahakan yang terbaik dan sebaik mungkin. I want to thanks Allah, He has given me this opportunity to write an apology to all of you.

Maafkan saya mak, walaupun kini giliran saya menemani mak selepas mak berpindah-pindah rumah abang-abang dan kakak yang lain selama 6-7 tahun ini, tidak sebagus mana diri ini melaksanakan amanah tersebut. Astaghfirullahal’azim. InsyaAllah, saya ingin meminta maaf dari mak setiap pagi sebelum pergi kerja. Manalah tahu. Kehidupan dunia adalah lumrah alam yang fitrah, tiada siapa dapat mengubahnya.

Adoi, sedih betullah. Kena pulak dengar lagu sedih ni. Hihi. I believe the time which change myself bit by bit was, when my best friend forever passed away in 2007. Syafiq, I missed you so much. Mamak (panggilan diri aku yang special hanya untuk Syafiq dan Adibah, dan mungkin juga anak-anak Kakju, insyaAllah) dulu selalu bayangkan kita dah tua-tua nanti (maklumlah, pakcik dan anak sedara beza 2 tahun saja) duduk atas kerusi malas dekat halaman rumah Atok ni, kita pandang menghadap KLCC. Tapi mungkin masa tu banyak bangunan lagi tinggi dari KLCC. Wallahua’lam. Mamak selalu bayangkan yang kau akan jadi pengapit mamak kalau mamak sempat kahwin. Lepas tu mamak jadi pengapit kau pulak masa kau kahwin. Kengkadang tu mamak bayangkan kita join venture buat bisnes. Tapi jarang mamak dapat berangan secara spesifik apa yang kita akan usahakan. Tapi kalau kau nak tau Syafiq, mamak suka berangan benda yang tak masuk akal. Kita jadi pemain bola professional untuk Malaysia. Walaupun fizikal kita besar, tapi mamak bayangkan ktia slim la. Kau jadi striker dan mamak jadi midfield. Tak pun kita dua-dua tukar posisi ikut kesesuaian. Kalau salah seorang dari kita score, kita akan celebrate sama-sama. Memang pasti, inilah yang mamak selalu berangan kan. Tak lojik kan? Tapi itulah yang mamak selalu khayalkan. Kalau duk sensorang ke, kalau drive ke, ikutlah bile mase mamak nak berangankan. Tapi itu cuma angan-angan. Kau pun dah takde. Al-Fatihah. Suatu masa dihadapan nanti, mamak harap kita berjumpa lagi. Rindu sangat la. Harap ada Ummi kau sekali. Al-Fatihah. Dan jika diizinkan oleh Allah, kita satu family berkumpul bersama.

To my beloved: I’m sorry again and again.

Okay sekarang lagu Maher Zain – InsyaAllah (versi melayu). Saje nak quote;

Kembalilah kepada yang Esa,

Yakin padaNya, Panjatkanlah doa,

Ooo, Ya Allah, pimpinlah daku dari tersasar,

Tunjukkan daku ke jalan yang benar,

(Jalan yang benar) x3.

Tiap kali aku dengar lagu ni, mesti aku teringat masa aku pasrah dengan tekanan kerja di Taman Melawati dulu. Masa dekat Melawati tu la, aku betul-betul suka dengar lagu Maher Zain nih. Walaupun amat tekanan, tapi aku rasa dekat melawati ni lah aku banyak belajar pasal paip air. Namun, kalau structure, hampeh. Buntu, sangkut aku. Tapi time tu aku rase macam hampir-hampir pro la bab-bab paip air ni. Tapi sebenarnya jauh lagi dari level pro tuh. Terima kasih Encik Nik, hanya Allah lah dapat membalas jasa encik atas tunjuk ajar encik. Macam tu lah aku rase elok turunkan ilmu. Tapi slack tu la, projek bungalow yang aku buntu tu. InsyaAllah, jika diberi rezeki untuk handle projek air yang lain, aku cuba terima dan bersungguh-sungguh.

Memandangkan entri ini terlalu sedih untuk aku post, tapi aku tetap post. Tapi, aku kan turunkan entri ni ke 2^nd entry sebab aku akan post copy/paste entri tentang pemecatan YB Dr Hasan Ali dari Pas. Entahlah, siapa yang betul siapa yang salah. Dr Hasan Ali yang betul ke, PAS yang betul ke, PKR yang betul ke ataupun yang paling betul adalah DAP? Aku pun tak tahulah. Macam-macam hal dunia sekarang ni.

In memories of :-

i)        My Father

ii)      My Sister (Kak Ngah)

iii)    My Best Friend Forever a.k.a. My Nephew (Mohd Syafiq)

Al-Fatihah.

"DAVID BECKHAM IS BRITAIN'S FINEST STRIKER OF A FOOTBALL NOT BECAUSE OF GOD-GIVEN TALENT BUT BECAUSE HE PRACTISES WITH A RELENTLESS APPLICATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF LESS GIFTED WOULDN'T CONTEMPLATE" – Sir Alex Ferguson –