Final Day

The long waited day, it is today 13^th November 2010. The presentation for our Integrated Design Project was conducted earlier this morning and marks our final fight to hold a degree in Civil Engineering. Immediately after we finished our presentation, something comes across my mind. Am I qualified to be an engineer right now? Just after we were bombarded with so many questions but it is delightful as the panel was generous enough to taught us instead of torturing us. Thanks to Ir. Hajah Jalilah who became our panel with very pleasant approach. I also being told by my friend that his panel said that we just only got 1% knowledge about engineering world after we’ve been through this 5 and a half years of learning. Never mind, I already expected that thing.

The first feeling comes is, satisfied. Satisfaction after finishing all the years of learning. I have to realize that learning will never end. I already held that concept in my grasp. However I wanted to feel this as I already finished the struggles for this formal education. Now it comes the time to apply it and gain all the actual knowledge around.

Never mind about the learning things. I wanted to write about the experiences. So many experiences I already wrote about it. Many of them were recorded in my blog. I wanted to appreciate it very much as I know it will become fond memories to me in near future. In fact, I already missed those memories now. One by one come back into my mind as we talk with each other. The painful to get a house to live in. Plus the struggle of the first semester for us to get through.  As far as I can remember, we often say that “Why we are still learning? It is painful to study for another 2 and half years”. And here we are saying “Wow, these 2 and half years is surely really fast. As it is like we are suddenly finish our studies” and these two statements are contradicting with each other. Well, all these years really meant something to us. My friend, Aok already started his work in Lumut, Perak and during his 4 days starting his works he already missed the feeling in Shah Alam. He didn’t even know what the reason behind it all is.

I confess that I slept for several hours after we finished our presentation. Not an appreciative acts to be done to celebrate this moment, I admit it. But after I woke up, I started to feel fear inside of my heart. What am I going to do next? Am I ready for working to find for money and for rizki? Well, I have something in my mind to be done. My mother’s project actually. Later came Basyir into my room, he jammed. Don’t know what to do. Then we discussed something about now.

For me, there is sadness in happiness. I am really sad to depart and farewell with my beloved friends. Just now, that is the last time I have dined with Aok, Hamiz and Eb as friends in UiTM. Later Aok leave the house. I hugged him as I wanted to appreciate him for being my friend for this long time. Here, I started to feel the sadness. I am sad as I like wanted to cry right now. I wanted to cry as I really love this bond between us that being destined by Allah. Usually this feeling only comes if we have some farewell functions which create this atmosphere. But this time, it was only two of us at the front of the door. He enters the car and I wave my hand at him for the last friendship hand wave.  I will remember this moment.  

I am too sad and I can even continue to write. Maybe later I will continue with other entries. InsyaAllah.

"IF OUR COUNTRY WORTH DYING FOR IN TIME OF WAR LET US RESOLVE THAT IT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR IN TIME OF PEACE" – Hamilton Fish –