What to Write?

10 July 2009
12.26 a.m.
What to Write?

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Alhamdulillah, here I am in a new semester for part 6 of Bachelor Degree in Civil Engineering with one additional subject, well I presume you know why right. Well, that is not the point. I just want to write anything right now but my sister insists me to not become like any other plain individual out there to write about nothing. But today I have to.

This is just a warming up for my new life. Even though there are nothing big, but it seems I can sense something that I got to change. The force that tells me to write only came to me if there are any important things to do or at least more beneficial thing that I supposed to do. For today, I supposed to check on MAT 480 question that has been left behind and also with my timetable which I didn’t print it out yet. Eventually, I finished both duties before I am starting this post. Like usual, there must be an obstruction came to me. Somebody come to my room and we have a chit chat to ease him down. We have a same fate regarding last semester result.

He cannot accept it yet not like me and other friends. Maybe he already has an experience about this so the feeling of trauma came back to him. Then I slowly talk to him and ask him what are the most things he afraid of. Yes of course I have to ask him. I know nothing about this situation. The situation which is to take again the same subject we cannot passed during last semester. What to do? Which classes are free? What is next? Do I have to report to the office? All these things must be flying over in my mind. This is my first experience. I really needed it and for sure I don’t want it anymore.

But you might be asking why am I writing in the blog which everyone can read about this? (Well, not so many passing by to my blog. He3) Okay, even before the final exam for this paper I know that I couldn’t pass. That is why I didn’t feel any shocking heart at the first time I look at the result slip. The only job for me now is to do the best and struggle to pass. This is not my nature because at the past, I’m fighting to get A’s, not just only pass.

So I put away my Xbox 360 even though only my brother blames it on me (but I still keeping my PSP because there are no games can be played in it). I don’t think that video game which brought me into this situation. If it is true, I might fail other subjects and not obtaining any A’s. The fact is I got A’s for the half of the subjects that I took last semester. Clearly I don’t like that particular subject. For once I remembered Puan Zakiyah who taught me Mathematic twice has said that she used to let a subject fail and at the next semester she got an A for that subject. I might take it as my example but for this semester I must get A for that subject to follow her. This is a challenge for me.

Well my friend, failure is not a bad thing but not a good thing to keep it repetitively. We as human need remembrances for us to keep on forward in our life. I believe Allah knows the best and put us in this position for a good reason. At least for me who is weak in designing the structure can strengthen my understanding in this subject to avoid any structure collapsing event to ever happen again. And once again, only Allah knows the best, right?

FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -