Kids!

10 July 2009
07.41 p.m.

Kids!


Well, this is an interesting story to me. I admit that I am motivated with my sister’s writing about her experiences wherever she goes. This one directly comes to my mind to write it here.

Today is Friday. Usually we didn’t have any classes during the evening session. Unfortunately for this semester, there is a Mathematic class for the rest of this semester. But there is nothing to be sad about. We came here to study not to rest.

Since there is renovation works in progress at the University’s mosque, our neighborhood’s mosque is conducting Friday prayer. This is my first time for me to perform Friday prayer at this mosque. As well to prepare any eventualities, I’ve come out with sajadah in my hand. Hopefully I can get into that mosque.

Fortunately, I and Eb got a space at the back. Second last row if I’m not mistaken. So I put down the sajadah in front of me to cover my forehead. As usual, we are hearing the sermon from the Imam. In front of me, there was a kid with his father. I think he is as same with my nephew, Asytar in term of age. Ironically, his father also looks alike of my brother, the father of Asytar, physically yes.

The time has come. Everyone already stand up to start our prayer. With this father wanted to train his young to learn for pray to God. But at this condition, I don’t think that is suitable for that kid. The Imam already started and we as the ma’mum followed him.

Seriously I admit, with this kid in front of me I can’t concentrate on my prayer. To be playing in front of me, playing with my sajadah and pointing at me, “Why can you stand still little boy?” my mind starting to wander. I think the Imam feel comfortable in the air-conditioned prayer hall, he recite quite a long verse with a slow readings. While we at the back got to be patient and plus for me with this little boy.

Beside that kid, there was a guy might be as young as me. He put away his glasses in front of him at the sujud area like everyone did to put their belongings like car keys, watch and other things. During the second rakaat, the kid who feels bored clinging below his farther arm wanted to have a walk. Suddenly, he stepped on that guy glasses. What a fragile glass can stand? Even at the bottom feet of a little kid. The glasses smashed. I do think Eb who stands beside me also surprised with that event. A kid who might be nervous in his heart shakes his father to ask him to go back home at that exact moment.

“Oh, you’re so dead” my pray surely become of waste with that thinking. Nothing happen, well of course we are still in our prayer. The only things that the kid can do are ruku’ and sujud but if only he can stand still and qiam like others he might not get into trouble. The time goes on with my mind still wandering what will happen after this.

“Assalamualaikum warahmatullah” the first salam from the Imam. Everyone else followed. Then quietly I’m starting my individual do’a hoping the Lord to forgive me for what happen earlier in my prayer. And also at the mean time, the father of the little kid scolds him. The kid can only keep quiet. Once again, “Why can you be like this before?” my mind still wander.

But the magical moment come at that time. The father asked the guy whether he want to give him a replacement or money to pay him back. And only if you can look at this guy face which I believe he is concentrate in his prayer before (even though he still manage to realize his glass was smashed), only smiled. “Okay, it’s nothing. Well, kids.” the guy replied. The father can only ask his boy to ask for forgiveness.

I really adore that generosity of a guy to that little kid. If he is a student, he might get angry afterwards. Where he want to get at least RM300 to get a new one? Then, I stand up to get home. I’ve got to go early because I’m following my friend with his motorcycle. With a quick glance, I saw that little kid hold that guy hand and kiss his hand.

Everything ends peacefully. And for me? What a waste of Friday. I didn’t get enough time to have a lunch. A class afterwards tills evening and a not-counted prayer. O’ Lord, forgive me. I hope all of you did not blame me. Please, blame that father.


FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -

Oh No. I Can’t Sleep.

10 July 2009
07.31 p.m.

Oh No. I Can’t Sleep.

Oh my God,
For three nights straight I couldn’t sleep,
Maybe it is hard to sleep at night,
After enjoying sleep during evening rest,
But the most painfully thing is,
Mosquitoes deliciously suck my blood out,
And I feel sore with it,
Are those mosquitoes already immune with poison?
Why they aren’t being dead?
Maybe they have a long life forward,
And for me,
I will struggle to sleep,
And I want to sleep,
Because I need to go to class with fresh mind,
And I hope I will get it sooner,
Please come to me,
Really,
I need a rest.

FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -

What to Write?

10 July 2009
12.26 a.m.
What to Write?

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Alhamdulillah, here I am in a new semester for part 6 of Bachelor Degree in Civil Engineering with one additional subject, well I presume you know why right. Well, that is not the point. I just want to write anything right now but my sister insists me to not become like any other plain individual out there to write about nothing. But today I have to.

This is just a warming up for my new life. Even though there are nothing big, but it seems I can sense something that I got to change. The force that tells me to write only came to me if there are any important things to do or at least more beneficial thing that I supposed to do. For today, I supposed to check on MAT 480 question that has been left behind and also with my timetable which I didn’t print it out yet. Eventually, I finished both duties before I am starting this post. Like usual, there must be an obstruction came to me. Somebody come to my room and we have a chit chat to ease him down. We have a same fate regarding last semester result.

He cannot accept it yet not like me and other friends. Maybe he already has an experience about this so the feeling of trauma came back to him. Then I slowly talk to him and ask him what are the most things he afraid of. Yes of course I have to ask him. I know nothing about this situation. The situation which is to take again the same subject we cannot passed during last semester. What to do? Which classes are free? What is next? Do I have to report to the office? All these things must be flying over in my mind. This is my first experience. I really needed it and for sure I don’t want it anymore.

But you might be asking why am I writing in the blog which everyone can read about this? (Well, not so many passing by to my blog. He3) Okay, even before the final exam for this paper I know that I couldn’t pass. That is why I didn’t feel any shocking heart at the first time I look at the result slip. The only job for me now is to do the best and struggle to pass. This is not my nature because at the past, I’m fighting to get A’s, not just only pass.

So I put away my Xbox 360 even though only my brother blames it on me (but I still keeping my PSP because there are no games can be played in it). I don’t think that video game which brought me into this situation. If it is true, I might fail other subjects and not obtaining any A’s. The fact is I got A’s for the half of the subjects that I took last semester. Clearly I don’t like that particular subject. For once I remembered Puan Zakiyah who taught me Mathematic twice has said that she used to let a subject fail and at the next semester she got an A for that subject. I might take it as my example but for this semester I must get A for that subject to follow her. This is a challenge for me.

Well my friend, failure is not a bad thing but not a good thing to keep it repetitively. We as human need remembrances for us to keep on forward in our life. I believe Allah knows the best and put us in this position for a good reason. At least for me who is weak in designing the structure can strengthen my understanding in this subject to avoid any structure collapsing event to ever happen again. And once again, only Allah knows the best, right?

FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -

Apabila Adli Baik Berkonfrontasi Dengan Adli Jahat 2

Sejurus selepas itu...

Adli Baik: Kau ingat aku tak tau apa yang kau fikirkan tu ke?
Adli Jahat: Eh, kau tau ke? Macam mane kau boleh tau?
Adli Baik: Mesti la aku tau. Kita kan satu badan satu minda. Bezanya cuma aku ni akal engkau tu nafsu.
Adli Jahat: Kiranya kau tau lah ni. Habis tu, kau nak buat apa?
Adli Baik: Kau jangan la putus asa. Nak berubah ni memang ambil masa.
Adli Jahat: Hei, kau dengar sini baik-baik. Kalau kau nak Adli ni berubah, maksudnya kau nak menghapuskan aku terus la ni. Mana boleh! Aku akan kekalkan survival aku dalam diri ini.
Adli Baik: Bukan macam tu. Bukankah ada juga nafsu baik. Mungkin kalau kau berubah bolehah Adli ni ber'nafsu' untuk membuat kebaikan dengan lebih banyak lagi. Macam membaca buku ke, lebih banyak menulis dan berkarya ke, lebih stadi ke. Semangat yang ke arah itu la kita mahu.
Adli Jahat: Argh, persetan dengan semua itu.
Adli Baik: Mungkin kau tak mahu mendengarnya sekarang. tapi apabila masanya akan tiba, kau akan betul-betul memerlukan aku. Ketika itu semangat Adli ini sendiri yang akan berubah. Dan jika kau perlukan, aku sentiasa ada di sini sedia untuk membantu.

(Adli Jahat tidak mengendahkan Adli Baik langsung)

Adli Baik: Ingat tu. Jangan lupa.

Kemudian mereka pun berpaling ke arah bahagian masing-masing. Hanya menantikan, memerhatikan dan memandu pemilihan langkah hidup Adli yang kini baru bermula semester baru dengan penuh ranjau atas putaran kejatuhannya itu.

FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -

Apabila Adli Baik Berkonfrontasi Dengan Adli Jahat

Adli Baik: Ape nak jadi dgn ko ni, asik main game je.
Adli Jahat: Biarla,aku pnye suke la nak main game ke, ape ke.
Adli Baik: Ish3,ko tak serik2 lagi ke, tgk kputusan ko ni.
Adli Jahat: Dah nak jadi camtu, nak wat camne lg.
Adli Baik: Ko berubahla, jadi elok skit.
Adli Jahat: Iyelah, tgk la camne nti. (Dalam hati: Peduli apa aku, ingat senang ke nak tukar)

Kesimpulannya, Adli Jahat telah mempengaruhi Adli sepenuhnya. Ke???

FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -

Rabbani: Nawaitu

Antara Niat Dan Manis Bicara
Satukan Di Dalam Satu Denyutan
Di Mana Jiwamu Pasti Bahagia
Kembali Bersemi Insani

Lafazlah Setulus Hati Nurani
Bukakan Maksud Tersimpan Di Hati
Biarpun Pedih Menyeksa Naluri
Nawaitu Tuntutan Batin Suci

Usahlah Engkau Selindungkan Bayangmu
Renungi Asal Kejadian Dirimu
Berjalan Tunduk Bukan erti Kau Kalah
Tebarkanlah Serata Jiwa

Usahlah Engkau Persalahkan Kakimu
Andainya Rebah Di Bumi Mu Sendiri
Mungkinkah Ada Kesilapan Semalam
Lafazkanlah Sejujur Hati

Ketulusan Insan sejati
Mencerminkan Budi Pekerti
Kesungguhan Menyingkap Makhfi (Rahsia)
Kebenaran Diri Yang Suci

Hanya Jiwa Yang Tulus Mengerti
Kemanisan Nawaitu Hati
Ketenangan Dalam Mencari
Keredhaan DariMu Tuhan...Ku


FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -

Saya Mungkin Menganggapnya Satu Kebetulan

Saya mungkin menganggapnya satu kebetulan, bila:

Sewaktu arwah Ayah baru saja meninggal dunia pada 3.45 petang Sabtu, 13 Mac 2004. Seketika kemudian di bilik mayat hospital menanti pelepasan jenazah Ayah saya untuk dikebumikan. Seusai semuanya, saya dan Andak berjalan keluar menuju ke tempat parkir kereta untuk pulang ke rumah. Jenazah akan dibawa oleh van jenazah. Ketika itu juga langit gelap hendak hujan. Ketika itu juga Andak berkata “Tengoklah, langit pun gelap nak hujan. Inilah orang kata orang baik ataupun bijak kalau mati bumi turut menangisi dengan hujan,”. “Oh, ye ke? Tak sangka pula dunia nak mengangisi juga kematian ayah” balas saya. Tapi dalam fikiran saya ini mungkin kebetulan saja. Mungkinkah?

Saya mungkin menganggapnya satu kebetulan, bila:

Beberapa minggu selepas Haji Jalal meninggal dunia, Mak dan juga Wan Adib (Mak Siti panggilan saudara saya yang lebih tua) merancang untuk melawat seorang jiran yang baru sahaja selesai menjalani pembedahan di kepala. Ketika menunggu Wan Adib datang ke rumah, saya duduk agak tersorok. Sebaik ternampak kelibat saya, Wan Adib terus berkata “Ada Adli rupanya”. Mungkin risau jika melihat tiada siapa yang menemani mereka berdua untuk berziarah itu. Tapi Mak memilih untuk berjalan kaki walaupun saya tahu jaraknya agak memenatkan bagi warga manusia yang seusia dengan mereka. Maka kami berjalanlah berempat pada mulanya dengan orang gaji Wan Adib itu memimpin dia dan saya pula memimpin mak saya. Sampai sahaja di rumah pak cik tersebut, Kak Su orang gaji Wan Adib pun terus pulang. Saya kebingungan. Memikirkan bagaimana hendak memimpin dua orang tua ini nanti kalau mahu pulang. Selesai berziarah, saya memimpin keduanya untuk pulang ke rumah. Memang lega, kerana langit pun meredupi laluan kami. Yalah, keluar rumah sebentar tadi masih pagi. Kini hendak pulang ke rumah semula matahari sudah meninggi mengikuti syarat di tengah hari. Di pertengahan jalan, Kak Su ternampak kami dan beliau mengambil peranan untuk memimpin Wan Adib dan saya semula dengan mak saya. Sebaik sampai ke rumah, langit kembali terang. “Fuuh, nasib baik. Sampai rumah je barulah terang balik. Kalau tidak panas berpeluh kita ni mak,” kata-kata saya untuk mengisi ruang bicara. “Itulah, Tuhan sayang pada kita. Ditolongnya redupkan jalan pulang,” balas mak saya. Tapi dalam fikiran saya ini mungkin kebetulan saja. Mungkinkah?



FEAR IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE. FEAR LEADS TO ANGER. ANGER LEADS TO HATE. HATE... LEADS TO SUFFERING.
- Master Yoda -